Baby Juices
by Addster
Summary: It's that one question every parent dreads, the one that makes them sweat all over, and the precocious baby boy in her arms is about to pop it. AU, little Naruto is so cute! :P


**AN: This story was a blast to write, I actually got the idea from one of the toddlers on my street. He's the cutest little thing, and he came up to me and said, 'Do you know where babies come from?' And I just couldn't help myself, inspiration is my pimp.**

**Disclaimer: I may own every book in the series, but I will never own Naruto itself! It makes me sad...**

The tiny boy grumbled as he stared at his lunch, the shadow of the tree above him clouding his moody face from his mother. He sat in her lap, holding his bowl of grapes and cereal with tiny hands as he shifted continuously, his little butt just not finding the right place, the burning question he had wasn't helping in the least bit.

"What are you doing, baby?" Tsunade called down to her toddler, her chin resting atop his head of sun-kissed hair and some of his baby spikes were tickling her nose. She took a grape from his bowl and popped it in her mouth, lifting her boy to where he sat right on her groin and leaned back on her chest. He seemed to appreciate it more because now he was still, nuzzling into her neck and playing with a piece of cereal.

"Can moma have some cereal, Naruto?" Her little blonde babe nodded into her chest and raised his bright green bowl for her, sparkling cerulean eyes counting each piece she took.

"Thank you." Tsunade breathed into his hair and kissed the top of his head. Naruto mumbled his acceptance and started separating his lunch, grape by grape, cheerio by cheerio into infantries of nutritional soldiers.

This novel silence had the mother worried, her usually bright and hyper four year-old that would wear her out by running her until she collapsed was quiet and still, borderline dull.

"Baby, what's wrong? You're so quiet…" She brushed her hand over his forehead to check for a fever, then cupping his cheek to check there.

"I have a question." Naruto answered flatly with a little huff as he met his mother's eyes.

"Okay, ask away." Tsunade lightly smiled, her face dappled by the sunlight peeking through the breaks in the tree branches.

"Where am I from?" Simple enough.

"You're from here…Konoha. Just like your father and I."

"No, not the place. Where was I made?" Oh god. She knew where this was heading and she wasn't quite ready for it. Maybe she could pull a fast one and tell him about the factory they bought him from, or the garden they grew him in or something.

Anything!

"Daddy said when I was a tiny baby that I lived inside you. How did I get in der?" Damn! She was corned now.

"Well…uhmmm, bub…" Was she red? She felt red, like a burning that out-staged the sun.

"Did you eat me?"

"No, no, no, baby, I didn't eat you. People don't eat babies."

"Well daddy said if I was bad dat der was dis monster dat comes around and eats babies, and kids like me, too!" Naruto curled into her chest from the memory.

"Your father is nuts, don't pay attention to those stupid stories of his." Tsunade bit off the last part, just imagining the entire horrific event her husband had performed to mentally scar their son into being good. Him and his idiotic white hair. He probably dressed up like some damned demon.

"Well den how did I get in your tummy?" Tsunade sighed at her son's persistence, she was really one to talk; she was the one who gave it to him.

"Okay…I'll tell you how daddy and moma made you, but you gotta promise moma that you'll listen very carefully. Okay?" He furiously nodded into her shoulder, ear primed over her heart so he could listen to her words hum through her chest.

If you think she was going to go with the whole, _when a mommy and daddy love each other very much… _crap, my friend you are sorely mistaken. Being the notable doctor she was, she knew the inner workings of pregnancy inside and out, she knew it like the back of her hand. She had delivered hundreds of babies and seen the hormonal ups and downs. Hell, she went through all of it just for the precious little boy lying in her lap.

She's still surprised to this day her husband still has his manhood after those nine hellish months.

"Well, four years ago-!"

"Four and a half!" The little voice sounded from below proudly. Tsunade felt him puff out his chest.

"You're right, four _and a half _years ago, daddy and I decided that we wanted to have a baby…" Lies! Responsibly decided is _not _the word she would use. Maybe extremely hot and messy pig sex would cover it, but decided was a stretch.

"And so we mixed baby juices."

"What?" Naruto picked up his head and looked at his mother, staring straight into her honey-brown eyes.

"Baby juices. Daddy has a special kind and I have a special kind, and when they mix together, it makes a baby." He looked a bit lost; he was still staring blankly into her eyes, his cute little brow creasing into confusion.

"What happened after you mixed them?"

"Do you remember when moma showed you the volcano?" Light bulb. He nodded his head with an enormous smile, their little science fair still fresh in his memory.

"It was kind of like that." Frothing and hot.

"So how did I get inside you?" Tsunade nodded sagely, closing her eyes and inhaling softly through her nose.

"Your daddy gave me a shot, and all the baby juice went right into a special place in my tummy, and that's where you lived for nine months while you grew big and strong." She finished with a smile when she saw her son breath a little oh in understanding. Feeling the crisis float away, Tsunade leaned back against the tree and popped another grape.

"What was that like?" Naruto asked her softly as he fiddled with a lock of her hair.

"What was what like?"

"Having me in your tummy."

"It was nice…" She smiled and ran her fingers through Naruto's hair, basking in the memory.

"I liked having you inside me because I knew you were always warm, always safe and always comfy. And I could feel you moving around all the time. You would stretch out and stick your feet in my side and your hands would poke out on the other side…" She trailed off to tickle his sides, poking her fingers for emphasis.

"And you would always roll around and squish my bladder so I'd always have to go to the bathroom. And you'd bounce around on something important and nearly kill me." She lied flat on her back, feeling the cool grass flit across the back of her neck as she squeezed her arms around her son, still tickling him.

"Moma!" He squealed and kicked, trying to roll out of her arms and escape the assault. Tsunade slowly stopped and let him calm down until he was lying on his front facing her, looking exceptionally sleepy.

A light breeze passed through the yard, shaking loose some of the leaves from their branches and sending them wafting down.

"And I loved to put my hands on my tummy and hold you. I loved to talk to you, I would read you stories and your father would talk to you when I was asleep, and the coolest thing was that sometimes, you would talk back." She was wandering from her initial train of thought, so lost she didn't notice Naruto raise his head.

"I could talk?"

"Oh no, baby. You couldn't speak with words yet…but you talked to me with your movements. Like when I was laughing, you'd bounce around like you were happy. When I read you a long story, I would feel you kind of nestle into place and fall asleep. When I had my hands on my tummy to feel you, you would somehow always know I was there, and it was just the coolest thing." Tsunade's smile absently grew as her eyes stared off into nowhere, and then drifted back to Naruto.

He was asleep, his head lying above her left breast, listening to her heart as he took deep even breaths. Moving carefully, Tsunade sat herself up, keeping her son still, and stood up and walked inside her house, finishing off the grapes.

"I don't wanna go inside, moma…" Naruto whispered sleepily, digging his forehead into her shoulder and rubbing his eye.

"It's nap time, bub…I don't want you to get cranky."

"I won't…" He was so cute when he lied.

"I believe you, sweetheart. But you need your nap." Tsunade sauntered down the hall and came into his bedroom. Standing over the little bed, she leaned down and laid Naruto down on the soft sheets, and then walked over to the window and pulled the blinds. Walking back to the bed, she pulled up his blanket and sat on the edge next to him, gently stroking his cheek with the back of her hand.

"Thank you, moma…" Naruto croaked, struggling to keep his eyes open.

"For what?" One of her brows arched in curiosity, her gaze remaining soft.

"For keeping me safe in your tummy." Tsunade smiled as she lowered her head to meet his, her lips pressing down on his little nose.

"You're welcome." She moved to his chin, planting a kiss there, and dropping one on his cheek.

"I love you…" She gently rose from the bed and watched Naruto nestle into the fetal position and fall asleep. When she reached the door, she took a quick look back, smiling and stepping out.

"Hey moma?" Tsunade stopped, turning around and leaning on the doorframe to watch her son.

"Yes?"

"How did you get me out?" Oh good lord.

**I remember asking my dad that when I was like five, and he totally blushed redder than a fire engine and completely deflected the whole thing, he bought me an ice cream to shut me up.**

** And me being as precocious as I was (and still am), I found other sources to answer my pressing question. The Discovery channel can do wonders for a developing mind...**

**PEACE :P**


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